100 themes about Axel and Roxas
by Ariani Lee
Summary: Under the rain: Sometimes there are those moments in life, moments when you suddenly know. When reality just strikes you right in the face like a tree.
1. Introduction

**Author :** Ariani Lee

**Fandom :** Kingdom Hearts

**Pairing :** AkuRoku

**Author's note : **This story already exists in the French KH section as "Axel et Roxas dans cent thèmes", and 74 chapters had been published. My mother tongue is French and I've been reading a lot of stories in the English section. I decided to challenge myself! I want to translate those prompts So, I expect from the people who will read this story to tell me if I make mistakes or if my sentences aren't clear enough. I'm counting on you!

**Beta-reader : **Lyly (u) (whose monther tongue is French too !) **Hell, yes, but I was not given the choice! T_T But we do our best !** she said. She lies. I'm not THAT mean!

**Disclaimer : **I do not own nor Kingdom Hearts neither Axel or Roxas. If I did, they wouldn't have died that way T_T

**Auto-evaluation : *** (The more stars I put, the more satisfied I am with the chapter)

**I began to write this more than a year ago. I do know there's some things which doesn't respect the original story, but at that time I didn't and I want to keep the texts as close to the original ones as I can. So it's useless to tell me I'm wrong with, for example, the fact that Roxas was born in The-World-That-Never-Was – which it can happen to me to keep using the French name "Illusipolis". Don't know if it's in the US version but still… By the way XD To the chapter!**

_Introduction_

In fact, "his" life hadn't last a very long time. One day, "he" had opened his eyes, naked and empty like a blank page, waiting for somebody to come and write something on it. He had awakened laying on the ground in the middle of the city below the World-That-Never-Was, Kingdom Hearts bathing his new skin in a milky light.

Someone had come almost immediately, someone who had took care of him and filled the emptiness of his new being. Xemnas had come, had gotten him to his feet and talked to him. In less than two minutes, he had told him who he was, what he was, and what he wasn't –complete. He had explained to him that himself and his Organization were fighting so that they, and all the people like them, could become whole beings. Xemnas had offered him a place in this Organization, and had given him a reason to be. A home, a family, even if in fact, all of that didn't have a real meaning for them.

Then, he had been given a name, an identity, and a mission, everything he had been lacking. He was Roxas, the Number Thirteen, the "Key of Destiny", the Keyblade wielder of the Organization XIII. His goal was to fight Heartless and to gather enough hearts so that Kingdom Hearts could be completed and the Nobodies could all get a heart. So that they could become complete.

Little less than a year later, he had returned to Sora, giving him back what he had taken from him and one more little thing: the ability to wield two weapons instead of one. Sora's body was hiding a second Keyblade master. Did he ever know…? Roxas didn't fade away. He stayed there, somewhere in his head, watching though his eyes…

_AKUROKU_

**First try! Took me almost an hour! **


	2. Love

**Author :** Ariani Lee

**Fandom :** Kingdom Hearts

**Pairing :** AkuRoku

**Beta-reader : **Lyly (u)

**Disclaimer : **I do not own nor Kingdom Hearts neither Axel or Roxas. If I did, they wouldn't have died that way T_T

**Auto-evaluation : *****

**Note : This fanfiction is made of one or two shots, most of the time without any connection between them. There's no chronological order neither. They can be completely contradictory. You have to read them separately, not like a whole. I hope it's clear… Not sure at all x)**

_Love_

It's common knowledge that Nobodies have no heart. That's why, despite everything he [_tought he_] was feeling for Roxas and despite all that there was between them, Axel had never told him "I love you". He had often wanted to do so, in moments when the mood was especially favorable and there were only both of them. He had even almost let it slip out, one time.

They were alone, sitting on the clock tower looking down on Twilight Town, eating salt-sea Ice cream and admiring the setting sun. Well, Axel was watching Roxas profile rather than the sunset. The twilight was throwing changing glows and shades on his face, putting pink on his cheeks – a thing which actually didn't have much chance to _really_ happen.

Axel thought that Xemnas was wrong when he was asserting that they were unable to feel any emotions. The Number VIII felt different from the other members, because even if he didn't have a heart, he [_was certain that he_] had feelings. When he was with him, peeking at him like this when Roxas was absent-minded, it was causing _things_ to happen inside of him. He often thought about their relationship. It was special; there was something _else_ between them. Something that was making them sit side by side to eat, spend all of their free time with each other, always going together on mission when they could choose their partner. Something that was making they having _their_ ownplace. The clocker tower, the salt-sea ice cream, it was all about them. Nobody could interfere with _that_. It was their thing.

Staring at his friend's face, startled by his own thoughts, briefly losing control, Axel had felt his mouth opening and heard his own voice saying:

- Roxas, I lo –

He had only just caught his words and swallowed them back like a bitter medicine. Roxas had looked at him, leaning back on one hand. Axel had captured this picture of him as clearly as if his eyes had been the lens of a camera. The thick bangs of ash-blond hair, the shades on the face turned towards him in the dusk light, the flexibility of the wrist under the raised hand which was holding the ice cream, the angle formed by his neck and his shoulder, the extraordinary forget-me-not blue of his eyes. Then, the lips which were parting….

- Yes, Axel?

Still, calm Roxas. Always faithful to himself, always so sure of everything. Was that a façade? Axel sometimes doubted the fact that Roxas truly was the one he seemed to be. He threw the wooden stick of his ice cream. He had been in a state of grace, and now it was gone. He had gotten back to earth – just in time.

- Nothing. I was going to say something stupid.

Anyone else would've had been curious and insisted to know what he had almost said. But not a Nobody. Not _Roxas_. He hadn't said a word and had carried his attention back to the everlasting sunset. Axel had felt disappointed and relieved at the same time.

No heart meant no love… right?

_AKUROKU_


	3. Light

**Author :** Ariani Lee

**Fandom:** Kingdom Hearts

**Pairing :** AkuRoku

**Beta-reader : **Lyly (u)

**Disclaimer : **I do not own nor Kingdom Hearts neither Axel or Roxas. If I did, they wouldn't have died that way T_T

**Self evaluation**** : *****

**Note : I didn't find the original names of the zones of Illusiopolis. I translated them from French so it probably will be a little different…**

_Light_

Kingdom Hearts...

Its soft light always shone upon the Altar of Nothing. Constant moon, with nor phases neither rising or setting. As strong and comforting as the rock to which the one who's drowning can hold on to survive.

Xemnas had never told to any member of the Order why he was spending so much time looking at it. But nobody had ever questioned him about it. Curiosity is a feeling… But he wasn't the only one. Of course, nobody else was spending so much time doing this; they were all busy and had work to do. But Roxas, when he had some free time and Axel was nowhere to be found, would always end up at the Altar. If Xemnas was there, he stayed in the background for a minute or two before leaving but when he was alone, he stepped into the light.

It wasn't complete yet, but he was working like hell on it. Each and every heart he was freeing with his Keyblade was bringing them closer to the objective: the right to exist for the Nobodies in the same way as the light beings. The faith he put in his mission never faltered, quite the contrary.He knew that the day he'd get a heart, he'd understand the weird sensations that he was experiencing but refusing to call "feelings". And more than everything, he wanted to understand what he felt for Axel, he wanted to be enabled to believe in it. He so wanted that to be real… But he didn't want to believe in it before he had gotten his heart. It seemed too good to be true...

The moonlight of Kingdom Hearts always brought the same thoughts on his mind: heart, feelings, realization, _Axel_… reciprocity. What was going inside him despite his nature was it possible that the Number VIII felt it too? When they'd both have a heart, Roxas would do the thing he had been willing to do from his very first days in the Organization.

He would close his eyes and seek inside his oh-so-wanted heart the meaning of his [_feelings?]_ for the Flurry of the Dancing Flames. And if he truly felt was he thought he felt, then he'd go to him and he'd tell him everything… He'd have plenty of time to be scared of being rejected when he'd own a heart.

When his thoughts reached this point, he would always do the same thing. He'd open a corridor of darkness, materialize Oath Keeper and Oblivion and vanishe to go kill Heartless. He generally did better than usual then, and that's a quite impressive thing to say.

_AKUROKU_

_**-BONUS-**_

_**« La minute de Pyrochouchou », by Lily[u]**____**(except for the nickname that I found). Those are little anecdotes about the misadventures of a child-y Axel and his family (his mother and his big bro, who happens to be Roxas).**_

_- Come take your bath, Axel !_

_- No ! Do not want ! _

_- Yes, you do !_

_- No !_

_- Yes !_

_Woosh ! A towel._

_- Okay. You don't. _


	4. Dark

**Author :** Ariani Lee

**Fandom:** Kingdom Hearts

**Pairing :** AkuRoku

**Beta-reader : **Lyly (u)

**Disclaimer : **I do not own nor Kingdom Hearts neither Axel or Roxas. If I did, they wouldn't have died that way T_T

**Self ****evaluation : ***

_Dark_

Darkness is to Nobodies what Light is to King Mickey. Organization XIII has learned how to master and use it, because it was the only source of power that they had at their disposal and they needed it to go forward to their goal: Light. Axel thought that this paradox was wildly ironic. In their searching for a heart, they were resolutely sinking into darkness, uniting with it.

He knew that there wasn't an ounce of nastiness or of will to hurt anyone in Roxas. And since his role in the building of Kingdom Hearts was to gather hearts with the Keyblade, he spent most of his time destroying Heartless, which was helping a large number of people in many worlds.

Axel wondered what would happen when they would finally get their hearts. They were so deeply bounded to darkness that deep inside him he doubted that the Organization's members could ever reach out and touch Light…

_AKUROKU_


	5. Seeking solace

**Author :** Ariani Lee

**Fandom:** Kingdom Hearts

**Pairing :** AkuRoku

**Beta-reader : **Lyly (u)

**Disclaimer : **I do not own nor Kingdom Hearts neither Axel or Roxas. If I did, they wouldn't have died that way T_T

**Self evaluation****: *** **

_Seeking solace_

Roxas never slept better than he did when he laid in Axel's arms.

This was one of the things that tied them to each other and belonged only to them, like the Twilight Town clock tower, the salt sea ice-creams and all of the moments of close privacy that in theory they should've been unable to share.

The Citadel of Illusiopolis was huge, and a whole wing was devoted to the thirteen members. Each of them had their own room with adjacent bathroom. There was a great living room, which was rarely used, a kitchen and a vast dining-room with a very long table and some chairs and benches. A real network of long cold corridors stretched on several floors, and each one of the members had already been walking them a least one time during a sleepless night

When Roxas has been tossing and turning in his bed for two hours and finally has realized that he wouldn't fell asleep, he gets up and leave his room, bare feet on the chilly tiled floor. He would take a little ride around the corridors and always end up in front of the door of Axel's room.

He would enter without knocking and walk on his tiptoe towards the Number VIII's bed who, despite all Roxas precautions not to wake him, would inevitably notice his presence. He would move himself a little aside, lift up the blanket and open his arms. They wouldn't say a single word and Roxas always laid down against him, loving the sensation of Axel's arms wrapping around him. Axel would lift one hand and soothe his hair, or drew curls and lines on his shoulder's skin with his fingertips. The gentle warmth and the embrace of the Number VIII always quickly overcame Roxas insomnia.

Axel never slept as well as he did when he held Roxas in his arms.

_AKUROKU_


	6. Breakaway

**Author :** Fire Serendipity

**Fandom:** Kingdom Hearts

**Pairing :** AkuRoku

**Beta-reader : **Lyly (u)

**Disclaimer : **I do not own nor Kingdom Hearts neither Axel or Roxas. If I did, they wouldn't have died that way T_T

**Self-evaluation: ****

**Note : **First incoherency. In most of my prompts I'll show you a Roxas who cares about Axel. I just wanted to re-write this scene from Axel's point of view.

_Break Away_

Until the day he died, the night when Roxas had left [_him_] the Organization haunted Axel. He was so obsessed with this memory he dreamt of it each and every night. He saw the scene again and again with sharp precision. He heard the noise of Roxas steps in the silent streets of Illusiopolis as he passed in front of him without even seeing him, he could hear it as clearly as if he had been back there. He heard his own voice rising, talking to him.

- Your mind's made up? He said.

Roxas stopped and answered him without looking at him.

- Why did the Keyblade chose me? I have to know.

His voice was detached and indifferent. _Look at me_, Axel thought. _I beg you, don't ignore__ me._

- You can't turn on the Organization! You get on their bad side and they'll destroy you.

His only one attempt to convince him no to go, the only one thing he had been able to say. And Roxas didn't even face him to say:

- No one would miss me.

Axel wouldn't have felt different if someone had stabbed him right between the shoulder blades. The pain had been real and wrenching. Was it possible that Roxas had completely ignored what he [_felt?_] for him? If he had had a heart, Axel often thought that hearing him saying this that way would've break it. After which he thought he was wrong, if he had had a heart, he wouldn't have feared that Roxas wouldn't believe him, that he'd tell him he didn't have feelings and was unable to feel what he was claiming he did. If he had had a heart, Axel would have run after him and told him he was wrong, that he loved him and he'd have rather died than to live without him, he'd have begged him to stay. If it hadn't been enough to hold him back he'd have fought with him, if it had been necessary he'd have wounded him enough to prevent him to leave.

But he _didn't_ have a heart. And he stood there, incapable of moving a single finger, dejected. The only thing he was able to do was to say, in a so low voice Roxas never heard him:

- That's not true. I would.

_AKUROKU_


	7. Heaven

**Author :** Fire Serendipity

**Fandom:** Kingdom Hearts

**Pairing :** AkuRoku

**Beta-reader : **Lyly (u)

**Disclaimer : **I do not own nor Kingdom Hearts neither Axel or Roxas. If I did, they wouldn't have died that way T_T

**Auto-evaluation : ***

_Heaven_

No Heaven for Nobodies.

No heart, no « immortal soul », which could rise up to the Nirvana and become some white and pure angel.

For Nobodies there's nor Hell, neither Heaven.

_AKUROKU_


	8. Innocence

**Author :** Fire Serendipity

**Fandom:** Kingdom Hearts

**Pairing :** AkuRoku

**Beta-reader : **Lyly (u)

**Disclaimer : **I do not own nor Kingdom Hearts neither Axel or Roxas. If I did, they wouldn't have died that way T_T

**Self evaluation : ***

**Author's note: Until now I've been posting chapters I translated weeks ago. Right now, with my work, I don't have much time to go on with the English Themes, but I like it and I completely LOVE English so I want to continue... Three of you people have added this story to your story alert list and it's even on the favourite list of two other readers. I'm flattered and glad to know some people read this... But I'm discouraged. Except for two French readers who told me I was doing great translating and that it was a good idea, I didn't get a SINGLE review from someone whose mother tongue was English, which is what I was looking for when I began this publication... So please, pretty please, dearly readers, would you be kind enough to comment from time to time? It's very important to me... Because favs and alerts don't tell me about the quality of this work, nor about my strenghts neither about my weaknesses, and without that, I'll never improve. Thanks in advance.**

* * *

_Innocence_

Roxas looked like an angel. His face had this delicate, entirely pure beauty that's unique to those who aren't completely out of childhood – yet he obviously had nothing to do with a child. Behind his thick fringe of angelic ash-blond hair, his blue irises had the angelic perfection of painted porcelain, a blue too blue to be "true". But there wasn't an ounce of innocence in those seraphic eyeswhich looked at everything with a cold, hard look or with indifference.

One last softer look was dedicated to Axel only, and Axel could perfectly imagine how Roxas would look like with big, beautiful white-feathered wings.

But there was no innocence. The word had never really had a meaning for them.

_AKUROKU_


	9. Drive

**Author :** Fire Serendipity

**Fandom:** Kingdom Hearts

**Pairing :** AkuRoku

**Beta-reader : **Lyly (u)

**Disclaimer : **I do not own nor Kingdom Hearts neither Axel or Roxas. If I did, they wouldn't have died that way T_T

**Self evaluation**** : ****

**

* * *

**

"_**I'm taking a ride with my best friend**_

_**I hope he'll never let me down again"**_

_(M.L. Gore / Depeche Mode: _

"_Never Let me down again")_

_

* * *

_

**_D_**rive

- I can't help but think that's a very, _very_ bad idea, Axel.

Standing on a sidewalk of Twilight Town, Roxas was dreading what was going to happen. His eyes were going from Axel to the car and from the car to Axel and he was completely unable to associate them.

He had a premonition that something really, really wrong was going to happen if he got in that car with him.

- I've got a bad… something … about this.

- Aw, c'm'on Roxas! Don't be a spoilsport, it'll be funny!

Once again, Roxas' eyes went from the car to Axel, then from Axel to the steering wheel of the apple green convertible car.

- Can't we just take a corridor of darkness? I promise I'll follow you anywhere you'll want to go!

Axel raised his eyes in an exasperated-but-absolutely-not-surprised way.

- I just wanna take a ride with my best friend! It's useless to use à corridor, we'd completely miss the point. Come on, please!

Skeptical silence.

- You think I can't drive, don't you? Axel sighed.

Roxas made a sorry face – he had to admit that it was partially because of it that he didn't want o do that. Axel shrugged, jumped in the car and started it.

- Axel, wait...! Roxas began. He hadn't wanted to offend him.

- Just look, the young man answered.

He went for a ride around the square, zigzagged a little between the street lamps, followed the rails of the tramway and get back just before Roxas, stopping by with a sharp and perfectly mastered braking.

Axel didn't shut the car off. He leaned on the steering wheel, letting his cheek rest on his hand and looked at Roxas with a knowing and intent air. The blonde didn't have any choice anymore, so he got in the car, sitting in the passenger seat, and they quickly left Twilight Town.

- So, what are we doing? He asked.

Axel looked at him with a beaming smile.

- Drivin'. There are plenty of pretty views in this world. Why don't you just enjoy it?

Roxas gave in and turned to the moving landscape, leaning on an elbow, his chin resting in the palm of his hand. They were driving through a vast plain of green grass and the sky upon them was azure. A lake was shining under the sun, and it was actually a pretty thing to look at. He liked the feeling of the wind on his face and hair too, and the weather was fine but yet… He still felt uneasy. He didn't understand why, since Axel was a skilled driver there was no reason, but he couldn't shake that atmosphere… As if _something_ was going to happen.

Axel, on the other hand, was watching the road but from time to time peeking at his passenger. Even if he was supposed not to have a heart, he felt something like excitation mixed with fear piercing his chest. The 1st part of the "operation" had been going according to plan…

Now, the only one thing on his mind was this question:

Would he _dare_ faking a breakdown?

_AKUROKU_

_To be continued in the theme n°66, Traps._

**Note: **I had a problem with this one. The "faking a breakdown" thing is an attempt to replace en French current expression, 'le coup de la panne'. All of you know it, it's when someone fakes a technical problem with their car on the purpose to… well, I'm sure I don't have to explain. But I don't know if there's some English quote to say it, I searched but didn't find... Someone please tell me x)

_**-BONUS-**_

_**« La minute de Pyrochouchou », by Lily[u] **_

« Axeeeeeel?

- Yes?

- Dinner is served.

- Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy! I'm so hungry!

_Woosh!_

- _Fucking shit_, Axel! The tablecloth didn't do anything to you!


	10. Breathe Again

**Author :** Fire Serendipity

**Fandom:** Kingdom Hearts

**Pairing :** AkuRoku

**Beta-reader : **Lyly (u)

**Disclaimer : **I do not own nor Kingdom Hearts neither Axel or Roxas. If I did, they wouldn't have died that way T_T

**Self-evaluation : *****

100 themes about Axel and Roxas

_Breathe again_

Somewhere in the depths of the Underworld, Roxas was fighting to contain the growing flood of Heartless that was attacking him. He had gone down here to gather hearts as he did usually, but there was way too much enemies. He had lost sight of Axel for a while and he didn't like it. He didn't like it at all. He had the impression – he wasn't sure – that he was _scared_. It was like his chest had become too small for his lungs, he could hardly breathe.

A little shadow jumped on his back and tried to scratch his face. Worried and upset, Roxas shouted:

- Enough! OUT OF MY WAY!

In a quick torsion move, he got rid of the little Heartless and brandished his Keyblades and made them describe an attack pattern. Closing his eyes, he whispered something and waved his weapons in a burst of sparks.

- **STARDUST REVOLUTION !***

A glittering circle formed around him and a violent explosion made the ground shake. A white light blew the Heartless all around him in a large area. The few survivors escaped quickly, fading away. Roxas leaned on his weapons, greatly weakened by the energy expenditure. Yet it didn't prevented him to see, behind the clouds of glowing hearts rising toward Kingdom Hearts, a tall and slim silhouette laying on the ground.

Oathkeeper and Oblivion fell on the ground with a metallic noise and vanished in burst of white light. He felt like his chest had become even smaller and he couldn't breathe at all. Yet he ran and threw himself on his knees next to Axel.

- Axel! He shouted. AXEL! Wake up, wake up!

He grabbed the Number VIII's shoulders and shook him violently. Axel's head rolled and the ground and Roxas saw a wound on his forehead, the fresh blood was exactly of the same color as his hair. - - - No… he whispered. Axel! _AXEL! _

Suddenly, he saw the other Nobody's eyebrows frown, and he moved a little. His lips parted and he spoke:

- Dammit Roxas! Can't you stop _bawling_ at me? My head hurts like hell…

Roxas instantly shut up and slipped out a light, not-amused-at-all laugh. He suddenly felt ridiculous, but for a short while, he had thought Axel was dead. It was utterly stupid, thinking that some mere Heartless could've killed him but he had been really scared.

He was alive… Roxas was breathing again.

_AKUROKU_

***STARDUST REVOLUTION : I didn't invent that attack, it's a name I borrowed to Mü Aries Gold Saint from Saint Seiya. ****Just a small reference… **


	11. Memory

**Author :** Fire Serendipity

**Fandom:** Kingdom Hearts

**Pairing :** AkuRoku

**Beta-reader : **Lyly (u)

**Disclaimer : **I do not own nor Kingdom Hearts neither Axel or Roxas. If I did, they wouldn't have died that way T_T

**Self-evaluation : ********

100 themes about Axel and Roxas

_Memory_

- Axel, who were you, before ?

His salt-sea ice-cream half way from his mouth, Axel turned to the Keyblade Wielder with a surprised look on his face.

- That's an unusual question… Do you know you're the first one to ask?

Roxas frowned.

- Don't you remember?

-Of course I do. It's just that… Well, I never heard any one of the others speak about their "previous" lives. I think no one gives a fuck about it.

- _I _do.

Axel ate some of his melting ice-cream.

- My name used to be Ael. My life was rather normal, you know. Actually, there's nothing very interesting to say about it.

- Not even some little anecdote?

The Number VIII shrugged.

- I got tattooed because of a stupid bet I was stupid enough to take up.

- Why stupid?

- I look like a clown. If I was given the choice now, I wouldn't do it.

Roxas looked genuinely surprised. He reached out his hands; index fingers rose toward his friend's cheeks and put it on the little marks.

- What are you doing?

- Tryin' to picture you without it.

They remained silent for a short moment. Roxas rested his palms on Axel's face, his cheeks in his hands.

- So, whaddya think?

- I like it. Looks pretty to me, and it's part of you. I wouldn't like it if you didn't have it anymore…

He let his hands on the Number VIII's face until he gently took his wrists and pulled it away.

- Sometimes I wonder if you behave like this deliberately, he said in a little bit weird tone.

- Like what? The blonde asked, puzzled.

- In such a flustering way. It never seems like you're doing it on purpose.

- Flustering?

- Don't take such a skeptical air. Every time you touch me and when you say such things, it flusters me.

He was looking away, frowning. An uneasy, full of hidden meaning silence stretched out over a long while.

- Axel you…, Roxas began to say, but Axel suddenly stood up. Hey, don't go!

He stood up too and caught him by his sleeve. Axel turned to him, his eyes shining. On a sudden impulsion, he pulled on his cloak to bring him closer and quickly kissed one of the little violet triangles, on his cheekbone.

- See, you're doing it again! The Number VIII exclaimed, upset, moving apart. Why did you do that?

Roxas bit his lip. He didn't know why, he had just felt like doing it. Axel sighed and ran his hands though his hair.

- You have to stop it. You don't realize how painful it is.

- Why?

- What, why?

- Why is it painful? Do you dislike when I touch you?

A muscle contracted in Axel's jaw.

- You don't understand… It's not that I dislike it. It's just… frustrating. Tremendously irritating. I never know what to think with you! Yet you know what I… _feel_ for you! It hurts me when you do such things, because I'd want so much more! And you're cruel to give me the illusion that you could love me.

- Why couldn't I? And why are you saying that I know what you feel for me? What do you feel for me?

Axel turned to the Number XIII, surprised. He never thought that Roxas could ignore his "feelings". He always felt like he was bare before him, he always had the feeling that Roxas could read him like him like a book and knew everything.

- You never noticed…

He let his sentence unsettled, not daring to finish it. Roxas was looking at him, his head tilted on his right shoulder, smirking.

- Axel, he said in a completely unhesitating voice.

- Yes?

- Why don't you release yourself of your frustrations? He said mischievously.

- Whaddya mean?

- What could I be meaning? What would you _want_ it to mean?

And he came closer to him. He rested against him and closed his eyes. Axel felt his cheeks flush and swallowed hard. He put his hands on the blonde's shoulders and leaned toward him. Roxas quietly raised his chin to offer him his lips.

- Roxas… The Number VIII whispered. He hardly believed that it was truly happening.

But they _were_ there, on the top of the Clock Tower, both of them. For a second, Axel wondered if he wouldn't go crazy if after that, Roxas continued to behave towards him as if nothing happened. Yet when he finally felt his lips against his and the kiss took them miles away from there, he forgot all of these concerns. It didn't matter anymore.

This only memory would worth all the pain in the world.

_AKUROKU_


	12. Insanity

**Author :** Fire Serendipity

**Fandom:** Kingdom Hearts

**Pairing :** AkuRoku

**Beta-reader : **Lyly (u)

**Disclaimer : **I do not own nor Kingdom Hearts neither Axel or Roxas. If I did, they wouldn't have died that way T_T

**Self-evaluation : *****

100 themes about Axel and Roxas

_Insanity_

Xemnas had only said five little words. Five simple, ordinary words, which once combined had struck Axel as surely as a bullet.

_He. _

_Caught._

_The._

_Number._

_Thirteen._

At this very moment he had began to lose his mind. The leader of the Organization had turn to him, his copper-colored eyes as impassive as they always were. Axel had never listened so intently to what he said.

- Roxas is the Key of Destiny. Since I can understand that he wanted to learn more about himself and we need him, I decided to give him a second chance. Axel, I want you to bring him back, using force if you need to.

Silent, Axel had stood up, opened a corridor of darkness and disappeared in it without a single look back. He was mad with worry thinking about what that fucking DiZ could have done to Roxas.

He had gone mad with anger when he had realized that it was worse – way worse – than anything he'd thought of. Roxas had forgotten everything, they had brainwashed him so well that Naminé – the little bitch! – had been able to implant a whole, brand new fake memory in his mind. A memory in which he didn't exist.

Mad with grief when, despite all his attempts, he failed each time he tried to bring back his memories. When the only thing he awakened in him was his faculty to use the Keyblade. Which he used _against_ him. Because he was _afraid_ of him! If he had had the opportunity, Axel would've killed DiZ with his own bare hands, in a slow, humiliating and horribly painful way, including both of his flames and chakrams.

He had finally gone mad with rage against Roxas himself. If he hadn't left the Organization, abandoning him the way he did, DiZ would never have caught him and he'd never have done what he and his accomplices had done to him – to them.

Finally – and above all the rest – it was jealousy which had driven him completely and irreparably mad. With Hayner, Pence and Olette, his "friends" in the virtual Twilight Town that DiZ had created for him, Roxas was so… He laughed and had fun… He seemed closer to them than he'd never been to Axel. And he dared to sully their most personal memories by going with them on the top of the Clock Tower, in _their_ place to eat _their_ salt-sea ice creams. Had DiZ been dirty-minded enough to have done it on purpose?

Twisted in all directions, tortured, torn continuously, wounded, his mind completely fell apart when Roxas went back to Sora and disappeared. From that moment, he could only think about one single thing, true obsession which made him forget everything else.

He'd destroy Sora. He'd find a way and he'd crush his heart to dust. He'd bring Roxas back.

_AKUROKU_


	13. Misfortune

**Author :** Fire Serendipity

**Fandom:** Kingdom Hearts

**Pairing :** AkuRoku

**Beta-reader : **Lyly (u)

**Disclaimer : **I do not own nor Kingdom Hearts neither Axel or Roxas. If I did, they wouldn't have died that way T_T

**Self-evaluation : ******

**Note: This one gave me loads of work…**

100 themes about Axel and Roxas

_Misfortune_

It was the night of all nightmares in the World-That-Never-Was – in the large, rarely used living room of the Castle to be precise. The thirteen members of the Organization were there and since it didn't happen very often, Luxord had suggested that they did something "special" so they could spend a night to remember. Xigbar had slipped away a few moments and came back with a great deal of various alcohols. The Gambler of Fate had taken advantage of this time to bodge two dices, turning them into toys for the occasion. The first dice showed the name of the member who'd have to pay the forfeit indicated by the second one. Since the dices changed each time they were rolled, nobody would've to do the same thing.

That idea had worked very well. Marluxia was now undressed and everyone could see his delicious-looking cherry-red boxer shorts which clashed horribly with his hair color. But since he had decided to try apple vodka, orange vodka, vodka and coke and salty sorbet vodka (with salt sea ice cream – an innovation by Demyx and Axel – those two should be kept under _permanent watching_!), he was way too drunk to care about the suspicious looks that Zexion – who was wearing a maid apron over his coat – was giving him. Saix sat next to the Number VI, his Claymore within reach just in case somebody would laugh a little too loud while Larxene, who stood behind him, braided his long hair.

Actually, they all looked like they were having a good time, except two persons. The first one was Xemnas who was drinking glass after glass of gin-tonic, sitting a little away from them. He was furiously glaring at them as if he was telling them that anyone who'd dare to ask him to do some belly-dancing or anything else would inherit the worst missions for five years. Strangely, the dices – or Luxord himself – seemed to have understood it and the Superior's name never came out.

The second person who didn't roar with laughter while Demyx, who played his role with goodwill and certain talent, lying on the floor in the middle of the room, was feigning a particularly noisy orgasm, in support of gesturing and facial expressions, was Roxas. His name hadn't come out yet, and since a memorable episode involving a banana and Axel's mouth and hands he felt very uneasy. He didn't want to speculate on what he was going to have to do, but his imagination wouldn't listen to him and dozens of ludicrous pictures were flowing through his head. He hardly kept himself from running away.

Demyx put an end to his little show, his voice rising in a breathtaking crescendo before he stopped moving, really out of breath after such a "performance" and went back to the sofa while all his pals (except Zexion whose cheeks were slightly red, you guess why) clapped and whistle at him. Luxord (who had had to gobble a raw egg earlier and had nearly thrown up on Vexen – thankfully they both had quickly forgot that unpalatable experience with a great deal of Malibu and pineapple) took the dices, and shook and threw them. The "forfeit dice" rolled under an armchair and Demyx went on all fours to get it back.

- Ah, it's Roxas! Xigbar exclaimed in a delighted tone, leaning over the dice.

The interested party swallowed hard. He should have gone to bed... He had to calm down. He drank down in one the glass of whisky that he had been given some hours earlier and hadn't touched. The alcohol burned his way from his throat to his stomach but didn't relax him. He was _so_ screwed...

- So, Demyx? Larxene asked. She was done with Saïx's hair, and he now looked like Princess Leia, with two ridiculous pastries-like buns. He looked like he was chewing his tongue.

- Wait a sec, I got it! The Nocturne Melodious answered, bringing his hand back of under the armchair. He cautiously held the dice between two fingers, making sure that it didn't turn. He had had finally had brought it back into the light, he read the forfeit written on it and turned to the Keyblade wielder, beaming.

- You must kiss Axel! He announced, and his face was telling how he found that this idea was _excellent_. Roxas' "heart" suddenly sank into his chest. Why, with the unlimited possibilities Luxord had given to those dices, why did THAT came out? Roxas hadn't see Axel's reaction and didn't dare to look at him, but when he looked away, his eyes met Lexaeus' face. The Silent Hero was impassively wearing a flashy feminine makeup including blush, eyeliner, cherry lip gloss and mascara and Roxas _knew_ he _had_ to do it, because if he didn't when _no one_ had refused to play the game so far, they would remind him of it _forever_, they'd write it on his gravestone in Proof of Existence...

He stood up under the encouragements and taunts of the others, eyes glued to the ground. Axel was somewhere in front of him, he stepped forward until his feet came into his field of vision then stopped. He raised his hands to grip the collar of the Number VIII's coat, took a deep breath and pulled sharply, bringing him close to him. In less than a second, Roxas had kissed him briefly on the corner of his mouth, eyes closed, he had let go of him and ran away.

Axel and the others looked at him as he went away, puzzled.

Roxas slammed the door of his room behind him and leaned against it. He really, _really_ should have gone to bed early. He felt dizzy because of the alcohol he had drunk too fast. He furiously rubbed his lips.

- This…, He said to himself. This wasn't a kiss! Not at all!

He crossed the room and sat on his bed, burying his face in his arms.

_It wasn't a kiss_, he kept repeating to himself. _It's was anything but a kiss!_

Someone knocked on his door. He stiffened.

- Who's there? He asked in a voice which was way less assured than what he'd have wanted.

- It's me, Axel. I come in.

Roxas opened his mouth to protest, but the Flurry of the Dancing Flames was already in the room, his hand held out to the switch.

- No! Roxas snapped and Axel stopped his move. Come in if you want but don't turn on the light.

Axel let his arm down and closed the door behind him and Roxas let out a slight sigh of relief – he knew he probably was blushing.

- What's wrong? Axel asked. Everyone wondered why you left.

Roxas didn't care but to be polite, he said:

- I hope I didn't spoil the atmosphere?

- Huh? Oh, no. Xaldin was doing the Caramell Dancing when I left. Believe me, he quickly became the center of attention.

Roxas answered with a grunt that could have meant anything. He didn't know what to say. He wanted Axel to leave. He wanted Axel to stay.

- So what? Was it that horrible to have to kiss me?

- Did I "hurt your feelings"?

- Kinda.

Roxas shrugged.

- No, he said. No, I didn't bother me to have to kiss you. But… I didn't want to… in front of everyone…

_I would have wanted it to be something between us. Something beautiful and private, a memory I'd have cherished for years… But… Would you understand if I said it to you?_

- It was my first kiss. For what I know about it.

Axel simply said "Oh!", and came closer to him. He knelt down before the Number XIII and he was so tall that even in this position he was up to him.

- I'm sorry. Nobody thought of that.

- It's normal. It shouldn't matter, am I right?

- You're bitter.

- Does it show?

Axel put his hands on the blonde's arms and he shivered.

- What are you doing?

- I may not be the best person to do that… But I'm going to give you a kiss. A real one. To make up for that waste. What do you think?

Roxas stayed speechless for an instant.

- Yes, he finally said. I would like to. Please.

Axel smiled in the dark, and then let his hands run through Roxas' arms, shoulders and neck to sooth him. The Number XIII stood still under his caresses, gradually calming down. When Axel thought that he was relaxed enough, he let his hands slid over Roxas' and rested them there.

- Here I go, he warned him in a whisper before bringing his face closer to his. He gently brushed his lips against the Number XIII's and then closed his own eyes and really pressed his mouth against his. He felt the blonde's lips half opening at the contact and they kept kissing softly for a while, then Axel made his tongue slid between his lips and slowly licked Roxas'.

- Can I? He whispered against his mouth.

Roxas didn't want to answer. He dreaded hearing the sound of his own voice that could only be discordant in such a situation – he was deeply confused. Letting Axel's hand on his knee, he raised one of his own and put it on Axel's neck in a caress, pulling him closer to encourage him to go on. His blood was beating at his temples in a terrible noise while the Number VIII caressed his lips once again before passing beyond them and finding _Roxas'_ own tongue behind this fragile barrier. His hand tangled in the silky red hair, Roxas let himself going electrified by the contact of their tongues touching, caressing, entwining. That warmth, that tension, it was the very essence of the kiss, of _this_ kiss as he had always dreamt of it.

He put his arms around Axel's neck. The red-haired man embraced him too and the kiss lasted for a very, very long time but when they parted, they both had the impression that only a minute had passed…

- So, how was it? Axel asked. His voice was almost the same as usual, just a little strained. Roxas move back a little with regret. I would have wanted to do it again and again and again…

- It was perfect. What can I do to thank you?

Axel raised his eyebrows, so high that even in the dark Roxas could have noticed it if he had looked at him, but he didn't.

- Thank you? You're kidding me.

- Weren't you doing me a favor? Roxas answered. Now I owe you something. What could I do for you?

- Well, Axel said slowly after a slight hesitation. If it's not too much to ask, maybe you could… let me kiss you again?

It's in the proverb: _Malchance au jeu..._

_AKUROKU_


	14. Smile

**Author :** Fire Serendipity

**Fandom:** Kingdom Hearts

**Pairing :** AkuRoku

**Beta-reader : **Lyly (u)

**Disclaimer : **I do not own nor Kingdom Hearts neither Axel or Roxas. If I did, they wouldn't have died that way T_T

**Self-evaluation ****: *****

100 themes about Axel and Roxas

_Smile_

There was among all the members of the Organization XIII only one person who wasn't a skilled fighter: Demyx.

Demys wasn't a warrior, he was an artist. The thing he loved best in life was his music. When he was free - which did happen often since the Superior didn't send him much on mission because of his limited abilities - he'd go to a balcony on the top of The Castle That Never Was to play sitar in the moonlight. He was a peaceful and contemplative person, and his place in the Order suited him well, even if he sometimes had the impression to be useless. At those times, the music would become sadder , even bitter.

Sometimes Axel and Roxas would join to him, always together and always in silence. They would come and listen to him because his music was a lot like him, calm and fantasist, and it soothed them. Demyx would stay on the stoneedge, leaning against the frame. He would play his sitar, looking at them.

Sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, Axel would put an arm around Roxas' shoulders, holding him close. He would smile because in his chest a gentle warmth would always spread, a warmth that would make him say, a long time later: "He made me feel like I had a heart.".

Cuddled against Axel, his head rested on his shoulder, Roxas would breathe his scent and listen to Demyx's music and he would smile because at times like these, he was in such a deep and complete peace he would forget anything that wasn't Axel's arm around him, his warmth and the music embracing them.

Demyx would smile too, because it was good to see them together and it remembered him the reason the Organization fought for – so that all the Nobodies could built something as beautiful as what those two had created all by themselves. Alone. _Together_.

Then the music would change. His state of mind would change. Axel and Roxas together was the most beautiful thing he had seen in his whole [_life_] as a Nobody, and it gave him the will to keep on fighting, with all he had, and to keep on smiling doing so.

_AKUROKU_


	15. Silence

**Author :** Fire Serendipity

**Fandom:** Kingdom Hearts

**Pairing :** AkuRoku

**Beta-reader : **Lyly (u)

**Disclaimer : **I do not own nor Kingdom Hearts neither Axel or Roxas. If I did, they wouldn't have died that way T_T

**Self-evaluation : ****

100 themes about Axel and Roxas

_Silence_

Axel was what you could call a big mouth kind of person, helplessly incapable of shut himself up, permanently speaking whatever rubbish that crossed his mind to any (and every) one. He had even gave Xaldin a headache, one time, by following him through the entire Castle-That-Never-Was and giving him a fully detailed report of his last oh-so-thrilling mission (this is a sarcasm, but I'm sure I didn't have to tell you) in Agrabah. He was almost as deadly dull as Princess Jasmin and The Number III had nearly impaled him with one of his spears.

Anyone who'd ask Axel about that would be answered he had done it on purpose.

Beside this hell of a talkaholic was Roxas, and in comparison with him, Roxas' silences felt like interstellar voids. Axel sometimes found it intimidating. He would speak out loud for minutes and suddenly Roxas would have that imperceptible look in his eyes, a look that made him think that he was fed up with all his talking. And Axel would shut up, even if he was in the middle of a sentence, and the hell if he cared if someone was listening to him at that time – which had already happened when he was reporting to the Superior. It had been extremely embarrassing. Axel had finally talked about it with Roxas.

- No, Not at all! Roxas had exclaimed, surprised. You don't bother me.

- Yet I can't help to have that impression, since _you_ practically never speak !

It was a little exaggerating to say that but Roxas didn't comment. He just said :

- I don't speak if I've got nothing to say. I can't see the point in keeping the conversation going since you do it.

- Huh… How am I supposed to take this? Axel asked, wondering if Roxas hadn't just called him a gossip, yet in a prettier way?

Roxas grinned to him.

- I like to listen to your talking. Sometimes I wish I was as extrovert as you.

Once again, Axel felt both glad and offended – he had the impression of being insulted in disguise?

- You've got a real personality, since you remember the person you used to be… before. But I don't. I don't have one single memory, I'm not sure of who I am, you see? When I don't know what to do or what to say, I just don't. That's all. But I love your talking. You make things alive.

The Number VIII had softly laughed, and then went on with the speech he had interrupted, about how he was totally helpless when he went on a mission to Atlantica and Xemnas who clearly never had memorized….

Axel didn't know everything that was in Roxas' silences, but he could fill it to keep Roxas from thinking too much of what he had lost. It was far better than to let him think his brains out all alone. And whatever for the others getting headaches.

_AKUROKU_


	16. Questioning

**Author :** Fire Serendipity

**Fandom:** Kingdom Hearts

**Pairing :** AkuRoku

**Beta-reader : **Lyly (u)

**Disclaimer : **I do not own nor Kingdom Hearts neither Axel or Roxas. If I did, they wouldn't have died that way T_T

**Self-evaluation : *****

100 themes about Axel and Roxas

_Questioning_

- What's love?

Axel jumped on his chair and spitted out a mouthful of nearly boiling coffee right in the face of the person who sat in front of him, who happened to be Marluxia.

- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! AXEL, YOU ASSHOLE! The pink haired man shrieked, and then stood up and ran out of the room, with his soaking wet locks and his vivid-red-burned face.

- If I get marks I swear I'll _kill_ you! He added just before he passed the door.

Axel started coughing his lungs out and Zexion waited patiently for him to be done. The Flurry of the Dancing Flames finally turned to him with tears of pain in his eyes.

- Holy _shit_ Zexion, are you tryin' to kill me or what?

- Nothing more than usual, the Number VI coldly answered.

- What the fuck are you doing sneaking behind me to whisper insanities in my ear? I thought I was gonna swallow my tongue and suffocate to die!

Zexion crossed his arms and frowned – or in any case the visible part of his face seemed to frown.

- What do you mean "insanities"?

- As if _you_ cared about what "love" is!

- Does it seem so unbelievable to you?

- Wait a sec, say it again?

- …"What's love?"

- With that iceberg face of yours, I swear it's creepy.

- … Fuck you.

- And why are you questioning _me_? What am I supposed to know about that?

-Oh, please don't pay dumb with me, number VIII. Everybody know that you and Roxas-

- YOU DON'T LOOK GOOD, NUMBER VI! I'LL WALK YOU BACK TO YOUR ROOM!

_A few minutes later, in Zexion's room _

- I think you need to calm down a little, you know, the Cloaked Schemer said to Axel who looked like he had just grew a few years older.

- Are you _mad_ or what? The Flurry of the Dancing Flames exclaimed. You just _can't_ bring that up right in the middle of the breakfast, between coffee and jam when anyone can hear you! And whaddya mean: "Everybody knows"?

- Which word is the one you fail to understand?

- But there was only Luxord who knew, because he had seen us! And he said he'd shut up!

- Are you aware of the complete and perfect stupidity of those words? You know that when Luxord plays cards with someone he speaks about anything that crosses his mind! Even the littlest Shadows of the World-That-Never-Was probably know about you two.

Axel sat on the bed and took his head in his hands.

- Holy crap, he moaned.

- So, what's love? Zexion asked once again.

- _Stop_ saying that, you're freaking the living shit out of me! Why did you ask me and not Roxas?

- He doesn't like me, and you know it very well.

- Yeah, whatever you say, mister Cloaked Schemer. And you and me are the best pals in the No-World, aren't we?

- Are you going to answer me, yes or not?

- Why are you asking?

Zexion turned away his head and his hair completely hid his face to Axel. From the first time they had met, Axel had always thought that Zexion was wearing that haircut on the purpose to hide himself behind it – that hypocritical little show-off…

- You don't have to know. It has nothing to do with you, the bluette snapped at him.

- Oh, I'm sure of it! Axel grinned back. But if you think that treating me like a Dusk will help…

-… Demyx.

- I can't believe my _ears_!

- Cut it off, it's not _that_ surprising…

- Of course it is, we're Nobodies! We're supposed not to have feelings. And you, Mister Freeze _yourself_…

- Stop it or I'm gonna hurt you.

- Oh my, I didn't know you were the romantic type… Okay, okay, I'll shut up! He quickly added as Zexion turned to the bookcase.

- So, this answer?

- You don't need me to tell me. If you're questioning me, you must feel things you don't understand, and I bet Ienzo never fell in love?

-… No.

- When he's there, you feel more complete. You don't wanna let him go, you speak carefully since you're always afraid of saying something that would maddened him and the very last thing you'd want is him to be mad at you… You'd like to be what he'd want you to be. And when he doesn't look at you, you feel like you doesn't even exist.

-… Yeah, that's right.

Axel got up and gave him a vigorous shove on the back. The Number VI made two steps under the shock.

- That's love, dude! You're in love with Demyx, who knew…

- Shut up! Or I'll say it again.

- Whaddya… aaahhh, no!

- Axeeeeeeeeeeel_… What's love?_

- !

_AKUROKU_


	17. Blood

**Author :** Fire Serendipity

**Fandom:** Kingdom Hearts

**Pairing :** AkuRoku

**Beta-reader : **Lyly (u)

**Disclaimer : **I do not own nor Kingdom Hearts neither Axel or Roxas. If I did, they wouldn't have died that way T_T

**Self-evaluation : ****

100 themes about Axel and Roxas

_Blood_

They had run away. Like two rebel teenagers in love with each other, they had just left the Castle-That-Never-Was without saying a word to anyone so that they could be all alone and sure for once that no one would disturb them…

« If I don't use the Keyblade, they won't be able find us. » Roxas had said.

Actually, Roxas _was_ a teenager and he _was_ in love and Axel… Well, even he wasn't fifteen anymore, he was nothing less than a rebel. They had hid in a hotel room, in some little world as far away and unknown from the Organization as possible. The room had a beautiful view on a beach and a gorgeous sunset. A priceless view.

« It's only for one night, so let's not be reasonable » Axel had said.

However, they didn't look through the window. The biggest thing in the room was the great poster bed – it had midnight blue velvet curtains elegantly falling around the four wooden twisted columns.

Sitting in the middle of the mattress, they were the most interesting thing for each other, the main attraction in that amazingly romantic jaunt – even if they actually weren't very familiar with all the romantic thing and stuff.

When they had stepped out of the corridor of Darkness that Roxas had opened to bring them there, they got rid of their black coats. Roxas was dressed in a blue jean and a pair of tennis, and Axel wore a pair of classic black pants, with an assorted jacket and a simple white shirt.

- Wow, you're hot as hell, mister! Roxas had laughed.

- Even that kind of clothes doesn't help with _that_, the redhead had answered, pulling on his spiky hair. Then they had put the coats in a bag Axel was carrying on his shoulder. The same bag was now, a few hours later, on the chair where Axel had threw it, needing both of his hands for much more interesting things. On the messy bed, he was now playing with a lock of Roxas' hair. The boy's eyes were closed but Axel knew he wasn't asleep.

- I wish we could stay like this forever…, the blonde whispered.

- Like what? Naked in a large bed? Axel asked with a slightly ironic smile.

- No. Like tonight… Just you and me, just Axel and Roxas. No more Order, no more numbers… You're just yourself, and I'm not the Key of Destiny anymore. Just like if we were…

He didn't finish his sentence but Axel did it for him:

- … normal people.

- Yeah, that's right, Roxas answered, opening his eyes. Normal beings. I love you, Axel.

The Flurry of the Dancing Flames winced.

- You shouldn't say that. We said…

- I know what we said. But it's like that, it's what I think. I love you, Axel, he said again, and his cheeks flushed a little.

Axel briefly hesitated before responding:

- I love you too, Roxas.

The boy smiled. His eyes on the blue velvet sky unfurled upon them, he remained silent for a long while, until his lover asked him:

- You're thoughtful. Tell me what you're thinking about.

- There's something I'd like to do with you.

- What's it?

Roxas sat up, reaching out for Axel's ear to whisper something to him.

- Seriously? The redhead asked, startled.

- Yes. Does it sound disturbing to you?

- No. I love it, and it's the perfect moment… On the other hand, we lack a knife to do that.

- I can't use my weapon but you can.

- Got it. Wait a sec.

Axel held out his right hand and one of his chakrams materialized in a burst of sparks. Roxas quickly blew it out of the bed to prevent the blanket from being set on fire.

- Whoops! Sorry.

He grabbed his shirt and began tearing it in flaps. Roxas watched him doing, glad to see him taking the lead, even if the idea was his. Once done, Axel held out his left hand to him and Roxas intertwined his fingers to his. Axel lifted up the chakram.

- Here we go?

- Here we go.

Axel slid one of the little blades between their joined palms and clenched his fingers around it.

- Ready?

Roxas nodded.

- So hold it tight!

Roxas firmed up his grip and Axel pulled on the blade with one sharp move and they both winced. A dark bloodstain quickly spread on the blanket, but they didn't separate.

- Once again? Axel asked, and Roxas nodded again. He put the reddened blade back between their hands and their lips joined in a kiss he pulled it again, deeply cutting into their flesh, carving two large "X" in their palms. Blood drops became trickle. Axel grabbed a fabric strap and handed the other end to Roxas.

- Help me, he merely said, and they began to bind their hands together. They remained silent for a while, until Axel asked:

- Tell me what's on your mind.

Roxas pulled on the bandage then handed it to him.

- I don't know, I was just thinking that it feels like... a sacred ritual.

He was looking at their tied hands with a strange look in his eyes.

- Are you okay? Axel asked, giving him the bandage back.

The boy beamed at him.

- Never in my short life have I felt more like if I was happy than right now.

They finished their work without saying one more word then laid down face to face, their wounded hands rested between them, and the others intertwined on them.

- The blanket is fucked up, Roxas noticed.

The large bloodstain had dried.

- Don't you care about it. That room cost me an arm, we could set the bed on fire if we wanted to.

- You've got a point there.

- How do you feel?

- My hand hurts, the boy admitted with a contrite look on his face and Axel smiled.

- You just wait for tomorrow. We'll have to undo this, and _that's_ gonna be the painful thing.

- Couldn't we stay like that? I wish I could hold your hand forever…

- Don't be silly, you know it's impossible.

Blood quivered softly in their wounds, which already began to coagulate. Axel were right, separate their hands would be much more painful. And the blanket would probably suffer some more collateral damages but they had no regrets. Because from that very moment, if one of them got hurt, it's _their_ blood that they would shed. And the marks on their palms would forever witness to that only one night when they had stop being Number VIII and Number XIII, the Flurry of the Dancing Flames and the Key of Destiny, to "just" become Axel and Roxas.

A timeless night forever sealed in blood.

_AKUROKU_


	18. Rainbow

**Author :** Fire Serendipity

**Fandom:** Kingdom Hearts

**Pairing :** AkuRoku

**Beta-reader : **Lyly (u)

**Disclaimer : **I do not own nor Kingdom Hearts neither Axel or Roxas. If I did, they wouldn't have died that way T_T

**Self-evaluation : ****

100 themes about Axel and Roxas

_Rainbow_

Axel's sitting on a bench in a small park.

The shouts of playing children beckoned him and he stopped to watch them. He's been there for hours now, and he doesn't understand what's so interesting with seeing them pushing or chasing each other and playing hopscotch, but he can't leave. Those children are actually pretty cute. The little brunette with sand in his hair, the small blonde, wearing glasses girl who just grazed her knee. But it's already forgotten and she's laughing now. There are black-haired twins sitting a little away from the other children, playing a game they must be the only ones to understand…

- Sir! Sir!

Axel hears the voice but doesn't move.

- Hey, sir!

Someone pull on his arm and he realizes that he actually is the one the voice is speaking to. He looks down to see who's hanging to his sleeve and it's a vivid red-haired girl with acid green eyes. Her other hand holds a slightly worn-out sheet of paper. When she's certain to have his full attention, she lets go of him.

- Mister, she says again. Here, for you.

And she hands him the paper. He takes it, surprised, and takes a look at it. A rainbow has been drawn on it with color pencils.

- Thanks, he says, startled. Why are you giving this to me?

- 'Cause you look just like Reno! She answered, pointing someone behind her. A few steps away from them stands a young man carrying a big pink schoolbag. The big bro, obviously, whose eyes meets Axel's and he waves to him. The Nobody had to admit that the resemblance is striking, from the tattoos on the cheeks – not exactly the same but very alike – to the spiky red hair. They could be mistaken for brothers – or cousins at least.

- You're right, Axel says, bowing to her. Thank you for that gift, miss.

- Nothing, sir!

She runs to her brother and hangs herself to his hand and both of them go away. Axel folds the picture and cautiously puts it in his pocket. It feels like the spell is broken and he doesn't want to stay here anymore, so he leaves the garden to look for a place quiet enough to open a corridor of darkness.

He must go back to his « family » too…

_AKUROKU_


	19. Gray

**Author :** Fire Serendipity

**Fandom:** Kingdom Hearts

**Pairing :** AkuRoku

**Beta-reader : **Lyly (u)

**Disclaimer : **I do not own nor Kingdom Hearts neither Axel or Roxas. If I did, they wouldn't have died that way T_T

**Self-evaluation : ****

100 themes about Axel and Roxas

_Gray_

Roxas always thought that life was a matter of contrasts. It would have gone very well without colors, black and white were amply sufficient.

The only one color Roxas actually needed was green. But oh, not so much. Just the few ounces which colored Axel's irises. The rest, for what he cared about it…

White was sunsets and salt-sea ice cream. It was Demyx's naive smile and the gratitude of the people in a world in which he had just destroyed hundreds of Heartless that were threatening them. White was the light of Kingdom Hearts falling on the Altar of Naught.

White was the precious moments spent with Axel, looking at him, listening to his talking or thinking about him. White was the [ _feeling _] of being full and complete that all those things gave him.

Black was the cold empty corridors of the Castle-That-Never-Was, the blank look in the eyes of Xemnas and the others. It was the loneliness of the most part of his daily life. Black was physical and psychological exhaustion, it was the never-ending missions getting harder and harder, it was the Heartless endlessly coming back. It was Kingdom Hearts and the way it looked to move backwards.

Black was the moments when Axel didn't look at him. It was the sleepless nights spent thinking he would never do, that he lacked a heart too, spent thinking he didn't have emotions. He didn't even have memories, he was even less than the others. And this horrible void hollowing out his chest.

Roxas knew that: nothing in life is utterly black or white, but there are lots of shades of grays.

_AKUROKU_


	20. Fortitude

_Fortitude_

Roxas was a weak person. But no one in the Organization knew it. No one would have dared to provoke the taciturn Number XIII. Caution was a key word in the XIIIth Order, and « _Try not. Do or do not._ » Who knew what kind of temperament the Key of Destiny hid behind his impassiveness? And no one really wanted to discover it, especially since on the other hand, his fighting abilities were _very well_ known and the prospect of eating Keyblades wasn't _so_ attractive.

Roxas was indeed a formidable opponent. He was as quick as lightning, dangerous from left to right and lethal from the bottom up and his mastery of magic was as excellent as his hand-to-hand fighting skills. He was an omnipotent warrior, which was normal for a Keyblade Wielder, and same went for his strength and dexterity. Yet, Roxas was weak.

He needed someone to lead him, to guide him, to show him the way. He was aware of it and felt pitiful. Axel's presence by his side made things even worse. He was so self-confident, almost arrogant. He would take his own decisions, and sometimes even disobey and then come what may. How strong was his character, giving him, who was born « empty », the feeling of drowning more and more in his own mediocrity.

Then one day Xion has come, with all her existential questioning, her doubts and her complete lack of memories. She had opened a wound in Roxas which – he had realized that – had always been there but hadn't hurt enough for him to actually _see_ it.

_Who am __I? Why am I there?_

_Why?_

_Why did the Keyblade choose me? _

For once Roxas wanted to take a decision all alone, he wanted to set one objective and to reach it by his own abilities, no matter what. He wanted to prove – to himself and to everyone – that he could be strong.

Taking the initiative to leave the Organization to search for answers to those questions seemed the best thing to do. Even if he just temporarily left. He knew very well that Xemnas would forgive him, because he was indispensable. And even if he was leaving, he wouldn't stop collecting hearts, so it wasn't really betrayal, was it?

Roxas was easily influenced. And we all know where that brought him.

_AKUROKU_


	21. Vacations

_Vacations_

Ah, vacations… coconut palm-lined beach… Blue sky and dazzling sun… Fine sand and warm caressing wind…. Demyx completely naked in the middle of an aquatic ballet…

With his hand which wasn't holding a half coconut, Roxas pinched the bridge of his nose. They should have thought of it before choosing beach as a destination when Xemnas had come up with that going all together on a vacation thing. Why not the mountain, after all? But no, Demyx had say « By the sea! » and everyone had nodded. The idea was indeed good enough, but why couldn't he wear a swimming trunk like everyone else?

- C'm'on, stop pulling a face. Look at him, he's having such fun.

Axel's tone was indulgent and slightly tender at the same time. Roxas turned to him, spilling some coconut milk on the sand. Like all the others (except Larxene and of course _Demyx_), Axel was wearing large Bermuda shorts but because of his matchstick frame, it was falling very low on his hips.

- I see your ass, Roxas teased him.

Axel shrugged.

- I don't give a fuck.

- You'll get sunburns. Are you sure you want to get sunburns _there_? You won't be able to merely sit down anymore.

- Wanna put me some sun cream?

- … Moron!

Axel laughed and pulled one the short's laces, trying to get it more tightened.

- He's doing such amazing things, Roxas said, sipping the rest of the milk in the open nu the held.

- What are you talkin' about? His exhibitionist tendencies?

- Of course not! If you want to know, I think he doesn't even get it… In my opinion, he just doesn't care. Non, I was talking about what he can do with water.

It was indeed quite impressive. Without raw material, he could materialize dozen of clones of himself. With such an amount of water at his disposal, he was able to create hallucinating aquatic fantasies. He was surrounded by gigantic birds of paradise and phenixes, horses and dolphins and cats and many other creatures more or less recognizable. It was moving, constantly changing, and has the not-insignificant advantage to hide well enough the "magician"'s nakedness.

- Yup. That's beautiful.

Roxas bit in the coconut pulp. It's was delicious but uneasy to eat.

- You're covered with milk, Axel noticed with a learned expression on his face.

- Thank you, I'm aware of that! Roxas replied. Give me something to wipe this instead of making fun of me.

- They say it's very good for skin-care ya know?

- _Axeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel_…

- Okay, okay… I don't have anything to clean it off but I can still help you.

Roxas threw an eye at the others. They were all concentrated on the shimmering sight before us – and some of them (Larxene and Zexion, I won't name the others) on another sight they tried to see. (Hey, what ? Demyx's a very desirable one 8D).

- Okay, he said.

Axel came closer and leaned his face over the blonde's and Roxas closed his eyes. The warm tongue carefully passed on his cheeks, nose and chin and then went to his lips with a calculated slowness.

Amused, Roxas snatched it on its way and Axel didn't resist much. The milky sweet taste of coconut had flavoured the redhead's mouth and Roxas savoured the kiss like a candy.

- Am I clean now? The blonde asked innocently after they parted.

- Completely!

- I love coconuts, Roxas said with a large smile.

Axel pinched him the half nut he was still holding and took a bit of the pulp.

- Oh my! He said feigning boredom, but a burst of laughter sparkling in his eyes. I think I'm covered with it…

_AKUROKU_


	22. Mother Nature

_Mother Nature_

Leaning against a wall in the Station in Twilight Town, Roxas was discreetly watching a group of gossiping teenagers. They were about his age et yet he felt completely "out", like if he had been light-years from them. No way he could have something in common with those merry youngsters.

They were _human_. They were what the Superior used to call "Light Beings", as different from him as the sun and the moon. The Nature who created humans granted them with a soul, a real existence, a heart. They had everything: conscience, life and emotions.

Had that same Nature made Nobodies? Loveless children of the humanity they desperately tried to mimic… An existence that was nothing more than the reflection of a gone one, a personality that was only thanks to the life the "other" had lived before and was not even their own. And no heart. Obviously that was the most important difference.

No, Nature certainly could not be blamed for the existence of those half-beings, those failed creatures. But Roxas was wondering.

The others said that the "emotions" the Nobodies sometimes thought they were feeling were only a consequences of their previous lives. It was only because their minds had been conditioned to [feel] this or that in particuliar situations that they could have those "reflexes". The elder members said that it was disappearing as time went by, the time it took for them to get rid of what they walled their "mortal remains". Like a man who lost an arm and still feels the pain.

But Roxas didn't have a single memory and no conditioning. He was born as empty and virgin as a white page, his very first memory as far as he could remember was the twilit sky above the manor. They told him he was fifteen years old but for what he knew he could have been seven or thirty… And still, in spite of this utter destitution he had those "shadow feelings".

Axel's large green eyes, his extravagant hair, his long lanky frame, his smiles, his voice… Even the tatoos on his cheeks… Roxas got everything memorized. Axel had filled the void of his existence. Axel, Axel, Axel. How came that without a heart, without even a memory conditioning he [felt] so… attached? Attracted? _Obsessed_?, by that man he only knew for a few months? His name was always on his mind, he was able to put it in a corner and not to think about it when he was extermely busy, but not for long. It would come back as soon as nothing was monopolizing his attention anymore…

Roxas felt as stranger as possible from the merry gang of Twilight Town, but he _did_ envy them. He was sure that in his place they would have known.

Mother Nature surely could not be blame for all these mean tricks… Although… Nobody ever said Nature couldn't be cruel.

_AKUROKU_


	23. Cat

_Cat_

I jus't can't help thinking he looks like a cat.

His eyes have a shape and a color which give his face something a little savage, accented by his tatoos, evoking fur patterns on a muzzle.

The way he walks has a feline suppleness and elegance. He never make a sound while moving. Of course he's such a gossip it's almost impossible not to hear him come from a distance, but his footsteps are light and silent.

Everything about him, from his posture to his movements when he's fighting, makes me think of a great red too thin cat. His hair, as spiky as the ruffled spine of an angry tomcat, his rounded back and that way he has to move at an angle to walk around his opponent and to never look away from their eyes. When he wields his chakrams, making them spin at the end of his lanky arms to grab them, his whole body becomes a unique sinous wave. Every time I look at him – and that mean very often – I think it would be hard not to do this simile.

Sometimes even the look in his eyes, which can be mischievious or suspicious and suddenly become completely _fixed_ on something, like the glare of an animal ready to attack, to jump, is similar to the look in the eyes of a playful kitten, or in those of a she-cat in front of a bowl of he can't hear what's going on in my head… Because I sometimes think that in a world where Axel would that lanky red cat he looks so muck like, it would be nice to be that bowl of cream…

_AKUROKU_

**This times there's two texts, because I had two ideas and couldn't make a choice between them.**

Roxas wasn't the « up early » type. From the moment he would get up – or should I say the moment he fell from his bed – he would need half an hour to be in working order. Half an hour and coffee. Lots of coffee. That's the reason why this particuliar morning, after having twice slipped on the wrong sleeve of his coat, mixed up his socks and his gloves and after the usual ten minutes it took each day finally get dressed, he went out of his room without a look in the mirror. Too much fog. Too much fog too to notice that Lexaeus and Larxene had stopped talking to watch him pass by us and that the Savage Nymph was laughing quietly. Especially this morning, because in addition of the usual morning mist, he was thinking.

He had had a funny dream that night. In fact he didn't really know what the dream had been about, but he could remember gentle hands softly stroking his face, hair and neck. It had been a nice dream, he would have wanted to remember better than that. That was upsetting.

He entered the dining room and went right to the long table. Demyx was there, finishing a bowl of cereal. Roxas sat down, not noticing the fact that the Melodious Nocturne suspended his move, his spoon dripping milk halfway from his mouth. Demyx watched him pulling the coffee pot and pouring himself a full cup. Then he smiled, and he ate his mouthful before fishing the last Loops drifting in the milk and pushing the bowl in front of the Number XIII.

- Here, this should suit you, he sai with a mischievious sparkle in the eyes. You won't need the spoon, I guess ?

And he left on this, laughing on his own. Roxas still wasn't really awake, plus he didn't understand a single word of what he said, so he decided to focus his available neurones on something more useful : hos morning thermonuclear arabica coffee.

Three cups and fifteen minutes later, his hands in his pockets and still a little sleepy, he was heading to the reunion room where a meeting was waiting for him. He went in and sat on his seat next to Larxene who looked at him.

- Roxas, I think you should…

She reached out and pulled his hood over his face.

- What are you doing?

- I'll explain later but believe me, it's better off this way.

He didn't answer and remained hidden under his hood.

The meeting went on and Roxas gradually awoke and he began to feel something bothering around his neck. He never wore stuff like necklaces and still… still this definitively was one!

Searching for a clasp, his fingers found something that felt like a belt buckle. He undid it as quietly as he could and when he finally got himself rid of the thing, the meeting was over and he got up. While the others were passing by him to leave, he took a look at what he was holding: a black velvet chocker with a little silvery bell, but there wasn't a little ball inside to make it ring, it was mute. His eyes widened: now he _sure_ was totally awoke.

And that dream. Those caresses on his throat and neck… and in his hair and… face…

- Oh, no.

He stuck the chocker in his pocket, pulled his hood lower over his face and ran to his room. He went to the mirror upon the bathroom sink and took the hood off so he could finally see his face and when he did, his mouth fell wide opened.

On his cheeks were spreading long black moustaches and the tip of his nose was colored in dark pink. On the sides of his head were covered in gel heaps of hair, forming two pointed ears. They were vaguely shaped and they had been given a rough ride during the night but it was still perfectly recognizable…

Roxas went out of the bathroom, a furious look on his face, feverishly running his hands in his hair. _Someone _was going to pay for it. A very high price.

But first thing first, he had to find some remover. Yeah. Remover first and then… _revenge_.

_AKUROKU_


	24. No Time

_No Time_

Oh yeah, you bet Roxas wanted to have some serious talking with Axel. But the man never had the _time_. As if he was doing it on _purpose_. When it was only the two of them, Axel was always over busy. His favorite quote was "No time to waste, let's go!", even if they had just cleaned the Heartless of a whole world of Heartless in two hours.

One day, Xemnas had sent them on a mission with Demyx. But the Number IX had broken a string of his sitar and ditched them to go and buy new stuff, so they ended up alone in the Lotus Forest of Wonderland. Objective of the mission: make a Heartless of the white rabbit on the purpose to create an ultra fast nobody (yeah I know, but I had to find something!).

They sure did run. They dashed through the Lotus Forest and the innumerable versions of the Bizarre Room and finally ended in the Queen's Castle where they met the Queen of Hearts. Huh? Ah, oh yeah! And the King.

- WHO'S BEEN PAINTING MY ROSES RED?

- Huh?

- WHO'S BEEN PAINTING MY ROSES RED?

- It wasn't us, m'am.

- Who dares to paint the vulgar paint the royal flower bed?

- Don't you think we've got more important stuff to –

- Axel, shut the fuck up.

- OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

- Are you guys still living in Middle Ages or what?

- _AXEL !_

- But Roxas! I'm completely right, look at their laws, it –

**-**_** I**_** am the Law, you idiot stripling!**

(8D *pulls out the charkrams*)

- Say that again?

Ten minutes and a bunch of burned, flaked, thinly sliced or stunned cards later, Axel and Roxas were leaving the Queen's Castle, chasing the white rabbit who had had the misfortune to pass by there. They had finally made it and caught him, then gave him a great Keyblade blow right in the chest to free his heart (which is quite awful when you come to it, am I right?), turning him into a Heartless – the black creature ran away as fast as its legs were able to carry it, still lugging the eternal fob watch – and a very strange Nobody. It looked exactly like the rabbit but it was in complete amorphousness and showed no reaction to any external stimulus (words, tiny slap, punch, chakram blow in the … ).

- All those efforts for _this_! Axel exclaimed, disappointed. And you can be sure that we're going to get a rocket!

- You can always comfort yourself by thinking about what _Demyx_ is going to get when Saïx or the Superior will hear that he sneaked off to bum around _Music Way_. One more time.

- You got a point.

The Number VIII grabbed the newborn nobody and threw it on his shoulder like a backpack.

- Axel, Roxas said, looking at his own feet, I wanted to tell you…

- NO TIME TO WASTE, LET'S GO!

Three seconds later, a Dark Corridor had brought them back to the Castle-That-Never-Was and they hastened to go and get hauled over the coals. Yes, Roxas did have things to say to Axel, but Axel never had the time – or the will – to listen.

_AKUROKU_

« No time to waste, let's go ! » (_Auron, Final Fantasy X_)


	25. Trouble lurking

_Trouble Lurking_

Somewhere in the Castle-That-Never-Was was a huge library. The place was above all Zexion's kingdom, he was the one to take care of it and other members were rarely seen there. That's the reason why Vexen, who was going there thinking he'd be alone, was surprised to find Axel sitting in an armchair, his eyes locked on an open book. His expression was strange and the Chilly Academic walked to him.

- Good evening, Number VIII.

Axel winced but didn't turn to him.

- Good evening, Vexen, he quietly answered.

Puzzled, the blonde sat on the chair in front of Axel. Seeing the redhead so deep in thought was an unique event and it deserved his full attention. First, he looked at the book he was holding and was surprised to see that nothing at all was written there: the pages were blank.

- What is it ? Vexen asked.

- I was reading, Axel answered slowly. And then I came across those white pages. There's been a manufacturing defect, two pages are missing. After those it goes on normally, but two pages are missing.

He ran a hand through his hair, sighing, still fixedly looking at the blank pages, like he couldn't take his eyes away from them.

- When I saw that, I just thought « it's doesn't matter, I saw that there was another copy on the shelve, I just have to put this one in the trash. »

Vexen nodded.

- You're right, but what's the problem? Because there obviously is one.

- At that time it seems evident, yeah. And then, I was getting up to do it and it occurred to me... That this book is actually like me. Like all of us.

Vexen frowned. He didn't understand what Axel meant.

- Two pages are missing, it's only a little defect. And each and every one of us in the Organization, have a manufacturing defect too, you see? We lack a "heart". I was thinking that there are four hundred and ninety seven pages in this book. It lacks two pages but does it means it's nothing? Is it okay to just throw it away because it lacks a little something? Couldn't we just read the other four hundred and ninety five pages? They're as good as in the others copies.

He made one of his gloved hands slide on the white paper.

- Are we all good to throw out? How can anyone say that because we lack this "heart"? Why can't we do with what we are? Does it really make us _that_ different? Are we that inferior? Do you see what I mean?

Vexen didn't answer immediately and when he did, he spoke slowly as if he were carefully choosing his words.

- You're surprising, Axel. It is quite unexpected to see you thinking about our existence like this. But I don't have the answers to your questions. Comfort yourself, when Kingdom Hearts will finally be completed, we will all get a heart again and you will no longer have reasons to ponder about it.

For the first time Axel looked away from the book. He closed it slowly and kept it in his hand for a while.

- You're right.

He got up and stood still for a moment, looking uncertain. He finally put it on the table, in front of the Number IV.

- Do what you want with it if you please. I don't know...

And he went away. Vexen watched him leave more puzzled than before. The Flurry of the Dancing Flames sure was full of surprises. He took the book and read the title - "_Mechanics of feelings"_ – then got up and quietly dropped it into the nearest paper bin.

Oh yes, full of surprises...


	26. Tears

_Tears_

I don't know if I can cry.

I never wanted to - which is normal after all. Isn't it? I'm a Nobody. I don't have a "heart".

But the heart has nothing to do with tears. Tears come from tear glands. Those are located somewhere around the eyeballs. And I do have tear glands because if I hadn't my eyes would be completely dry and that would be very uncomfortable. Moreover, the thin film of humidity that covers and protects my corneas is of the same liquid, the same salted water. Therefore, I do have tears. I think I'm physically able to cry.

But I never felt the need to cry. Is there anything that could make me cry?

I honestly don't think so or at least can't think of something. Because I feel nothing. Nothing can reach me, I'm cold as ice, _he_ often tells me that. I don't have nor feelings neither emotions, I'm not human. Tears are the same thing that raindrops sliding on a window to me: softly dripping water. No connotation. I don't think I'm emotionally able to cry.

What's the most important between physical ability and emotional ability?

I don't know.

I don't know if I can cry.

_AKUROKU_


	27. Foreign

_Foreign_

He doesn't recognize me.

I've already shown myself to him several times and nothing. Not a single spark of recognizing in his blue gaze, no reaction. He eyes pass by me then past me without noticing me. I'm not the kind of person that people easily forget, am I not? Or at least I'd like to believe it… I became a stranger to him.

When I found out where Roxas was, I suspected that something like this would've happened. But despite that, when I've been presented to the fait accompli, when I ended up in front of my best friend who forgot my very existence, I realized the true meaning of the word "suffering".

It's been a week now. A whole week I've spent watching him, hiding away in the corners or not. And each and every time I lay my eyes on him it feels like someone rips the heart I don't have out of my chest with their bare hands. How can that be? And it hurts even more when he's with those virtual kids he seems to love.

I feel like I can't entirely _comprehend_ what DiZ did to him. He's got a new memory, a fake life with fake friends… and also a fake personality. Roxas has never been the one to smile easily, he doesn't yell and he's not clumsy and he's not so kind. That dude has his face indeed but is it still him? To tell the truth, he became a complete stranger to me too.

Here he comes again with his little "gang", fighting with some jerk with a beanie. The boy looks authoritarian and extremely smug, which seems to upset Roxas a lot. I look at him and I don't recognize him and as if I were expecting an answer that would never come I sigh:

- Roxas… What are we gonna do?

_AKUROKU_


	28. Under the rain

_Under the rain_

Sometimes there are those moments in life, moments when you suddenly _know_. When reality just strikes you right in the face like a tree. It strikes you so much that you wonder how you possibly couldn't see it coming. And all of a sudden, it feels like that shock kind of broke your glasses or influenced your nervous system. Things become totally different, leaving you completely stunned.

Roxas had violently crashed in his own personal tree on a rainy day he hadn't been sent on a mission. He had waked late in the morning and went out in spite of the rain, hood on, to stretch his legs. But while he was quietly walking the street of the World-That-Never-Was, he had seen something looking a lot like a spike of red hair, just behind the corner of the street. It was at less than a meter from him.

- ... Axel? Is that you?

The red spike had jumped and then, faster than light, the rest of the hair had burst out, followed by two arms that had gripped him, pulled him behind the corner and closed around him, holding him against a thin chest dressed in soaking wet leather.

- Shut up, silence! Axel had whispered in a low and frantic voice. They must not find me!

- Who? Roxas had asked, puzzled.

- Xaldin and Saix.

- What do they want with you?

- My mission order of this morning was for Atlantica, _again_! This time I'm not going! They'll have to send Demyx, he could take control of the whole world just by plucking two strings if he wanted to! I don't give a fuck about it!

Roxas had rested his hands on the Number VIII's chest and gently pushed him away a little bit to look at him.

- Sure thing no one would think to look for you outside with all that –

Tree.

Roxas's breathe had been taken away for a few seconds. It was like he had seen Axel for the very first time in his life, he had looked at his face turned towards the street, his green eyes, his hair, heavy with rain water but still spiky as always, his pale throat emerging of the collar of his coat, skin glistening with humidity… and he had felt the surprising, irrational and absolute desire to lick the raindrop that had just left Axel's chin to slowly glide toward his Adam's apple… Completely stunned, the Keyblade master hadn't even thought about refraining from doing it. He had raised on tiptoe and waited for the transparent pearl to be close enough to his lips…

Axel had winced when had felt something warm and soft caressing his throat, but he had been even more surprised when he had realized that that "something" was the tongue of the boy he was still holding against him. He had kept his lips against his skin, sealed in a tender and gentle kiss.

- Ro… Roxas! What the hell are doing?

The boy had stepped away and looked at his friend. His face was red and he had a feverish look in his eyes.

- I'm sorry! I don't know what I was thinking!

He had kept on stepping back. Axel's arms had fallen limply and he had leaned his back against the wall, head down.

- No, you don't have… to be sorry…, he had said in a weird tone.

- Axel? What's wrong?

- I'm… cold?

And he had collapsed without saying one more word. Roxas had rushed at his side.

- Axel? Axel!

He had shaken him a little and took his and off immediately. Even through his wet coat the Number VIII irradiated a tremendous warmth.

- Axel? How long have you stood here under the rain! Axel? Hey, answer me!

But Axel had remained unconscious. Roxas had put what had just happened in a corner of his mind and opened a dark corridor to the Castle-That-Never-Was. He had picked up his friend's body. Then, trying to ignore the burning warmth Axel gave out, he had taken him home.

_AKUROKU_


End file.
